Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
