Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
