I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
