i just google imaged poop.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
