I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
