We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize