Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize