Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
