it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
