just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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