let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
