put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
