You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So squirting runs in the family.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
