I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
