Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
