You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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