Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
