That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
