i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
