whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
