i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
