plz talk dirty to me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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