Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
