I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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