just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
