I just pynch a tree in the face
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
