My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
