Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
