This girl is more easily done than said...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize