fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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