Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
