I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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