you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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