you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
