What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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