I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
