Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
