: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
