Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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