I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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