Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
