If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
