So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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