guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
