My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
