Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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