Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
