Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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