Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize