No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i dont even know how to be here
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
