There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
