After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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