Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
