I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
