Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
