I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize