what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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