Do you still have your period?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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