She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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