what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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