did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
