i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
