the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
